Never let the past oppress you from living

The last few weeks/months have been so surreal for me and I wouldn’t have gotten through it without my friends and one special person. I apologize for the very personal blog post but hopefully it can help those that are still in the position that I used to be in. I’m not going to outright say what the actual thing is because you can most likely guess or just message me and i’ll tell you.

Here goes...

From a young age I forced myself into a lie, a lie that made me ashamed and embarrassed to be who I was, the feelings that I had and the things that I had done. I lived a lie for about two years, becoming slightly depressed and very deceptive to the people around me. The reason why I didn't talk to anyone was because issues in the past had made me insecure about how other people would react and if they’d make fun of me rather than be there for me and support me.  I used lies as a way to hide from my problems and make others happier because it was easier that way. If I’m being honest, I've made massive mistakes and gone to bad places in my life in the last two years and it is really hard to pick yourself up. It is so much easier to put on a fake smile and live a lie, but nothing will ever get better if you constantly hide from your problems.

But over the past few months, through meeting someone who actually cared about me and my feelings I started telling friends about my past, ignoring the fact that my life is still nowhere near stable. And the funny thing is, they cared more about my happiness and supporting me than the people in my life who should.  It made me learn that you shouldn't be oppressed by your past; your past does not define you. You are defined by how you learn from the past.

If I could give a piece of advice to anyone who feels like they don’t  have anyone to talk to or feels like they can’t be who they want to be, it would be this:

Don’t live for  other people, this is your life. Life is way too short to let the past or other people bring you down. Be who you are, be proud of you who are and confide in those that you love. Don’t be afraid of rejection,  if they can’t accept you or love you for who you are then they never deserved your friendship in the first place. It’s better to be hated than loved for what you’re not.  

Be brave and love yourself.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, message me. We all need someone.