Aug 16, 2013

A short story: Theatre of The Family

Theatre of The Family

The satisfaction of judgment is to witness a man’s denial, to see the shell of a bitter man drown in guilt; a creature can be tortured but to condemn oneself into solitude and darkness can reveal the true self-destructive element of human nature. Lies breed within us all.

‘Salvation is obedience. Obedience is the antidote.’

 The Family’s crest infested the theatre walls where the old tattered posters for Romeo and Juliet manifested ancient promises of freedom. A rusted projector flickered from the far side of the room, a light source that made visible the rot-infested wood and red velvet chairs. Torn and tainted, it was here where they dragged the tormented souls that were forced to repent their sins. Their confessions were excruciating, leaving them screeching in agony as their demons were torn, limb from limb, an exorcism that stripped them to the bone. The theatre was the most revolting chamber for judgement. Murderers, rapists and paedophiles collected, where their fate would be decided by the gods. May The Family have no mercy upon a serpent’s soul.

 Alexander awoke on the front row from his former curled up position. His bleak facial expression showed no signs of remorse. He sat still, captivated by the freedom of memories; they were all he had, a never ending cycle of cynical films directed by his brain to escape reality. Alexander felt a sharp pain through his heart. Glancing down to search for physical bruising, he found his so called tattoo, ‘The family watches you my angel; we will catch you if you fall’. The holy words stained the left of his chest, seeping into his heart.

As the silence grew his imagination wandered into the past, where his daughter's childlike piano tune teased his ear, haunting him with its innocence and as the melodies came to a halt, bitter guilt trickled down his cheek. In reminiscing he manipulated his own memory. It was an illusion where sweet darling Jess had lost herself in the music years ago, she was free, time was a dream and The Family were nothing but an audience to her show. Suicide could never seem so poetic, where her last cry would be of liberation.  This was the only version of his psychotic reality that kept him going; to pretend that his child took her own life instead of facing reality. It was the only blessing Satan could bestow upon a man. Denial is a parasite of the mind.

The putrid stench of rodents and decayed plaster infected his senses; he could no longer recall the previous optimism his lies had deceived him with. A sharp ticking noise from the clock above the curtains caught his ear, a trigger of time that caused his heart to beat to a pattern he had forgotten long ago. In that moment, he knew. Judgement day was coming and everything he programmed himself to believe was a lie. Everything he did was there to manipulate him into a further depth of denial. He knew that The Family were watching, believing every step he took had been chosen for him. Every sound he heard was specifically produced to create a reaction, a memory.

One by one the shadows of men entered: actors, whose simple purpose was to re-enact Alexander’s forgotten sins. A child-like figure was dragged behind, an arm engulfed in the darkness of one man’s shadow. A guilty man could not bear the truth but with the child’s final agonizing scream an inner mechanism exploded within him. He shouted and screeched but his pain did nothing but flood his mind with his sinful memories. The wind crept inside his skin as he stood paralyzed.

 A noose lowered from the rusted lights above, his bones ached while his heart viciously beat to a pattern of guilt. The actors teased the rope around the corpse’s neck, scraping scratched skin where anxiety and murder would have bred from the genes of her father.  As the moonlight taunted his eyes his breath dragged and his shouts decayed to mumbled prayers.

The bitter truth could no longer be forgotten, the silhouette was the corpse of his daughter, Jess, a sweet innocent child whose life had come to an end. Innocence was taken away from her and in realising what he had done, he was marked a dead man. Alexander became the screeching soul; he had become the very thing he swore to hate. She hung. Lifeless, at the hands of Alexander, a man that hated the world he lived in so much, he took his own daughters life.

A murderer, that’s what he is. A coward! A traitor! How could he despise and blame The Family so much when such darkness infested his heart? A sentence of death would be too easy for the scum he was.


Alexander: the parasite among angels.

-Bradley O'Donoghue

Aug 7, 2013

Never let the past oppress you from living

The last few weeks/months have been so surreal for me and I wouldn’t have gotten through it without my friends and one special person. I apologize for the very personal blog post but hopefully it can help those that are still in the position that I used to be in. I’m not going to outright say what the actual thing is because you can most likely guess or just message me and i’ll tell you.

Here goes...

From a young age I forced myself into a lie, a lie that made me ashamed and embarrassed to be who I was, the feelings that I had and the things that I had done. I lived a lie for about two years, becoming slightly depressed and very deceptive to the people around me. The reason why I didn't talk to anyone was because issues in the past had made me insecure about how other people would react and if they’d make fun of me rather than be there for me and support me.  I used lies as a way to hide from my problems and make others happier because it was easier that way. If I’m being honest, I've made massive mistakes and gone to bad places in my life in the last two years and it is really hard to pick yourself up. It is so much easier to put on a fake smile and live a lie, but nothing will ever get better if you constantly hide from your problems.

But over the past few months, through meeting someone who actually cared about me and my feelings I started telling friends about my past, ignoring the fact that my life is still nowhere near stable. And the funny thing is, they cared more about my happiness and supporting me than the people in my life who should.  It made me learn that you shouldn't be oppressed by your past; your past does not define you. You are defined by how you learn from the past.

If I could give a piece of advice to anyone who feels like they don’t  have anyone to talk to or feels like they can’t be who they want to be, it would be this:

Don’t live for  other people, this is your life. Life is way too short to let the past or other people bring you down. Be who you are, be proud of you who are and confide in those that you love. Don’t be afraid of rejection,  if they can’t accept you or love you for who you are then they never deserved your friendship in the first place. It’s better to be hated than loved for what you’re not.  

Be brave and love yourself.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, message me. We all need someone.